I used to live in a bubble where if you were my friend (in real life or online), I felt comfortable to share all of me. Sometimes overshare and at times, to my detriment. In that I mean meeting up often, discussing personal details of my life and sharing my time in general usually at the drop of a hat. If you give someone your time, that means a lot, to me anyway. It shows me you care, so when I do the same, I want it to be valued. I mean come on, we all have our own lives to lead and granted, we’re all very busy working at our everyday jobs, looking after children, studying, hustling alongside other commitments. So if in between all that, you still make time for others, I appreciate it. You da real MVP!
In my world, effort is a direct reflection of interest – be it family, friendships or a romantic relationship. If I give you all of me (hypothetically speaking) I would like the same back. If I give 100 and you give me 50, I won’t stop caring but it will be from a distance. Although having said that, I do believe that just because someone may not show love in the same way that you do, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t giving you all that they have. I guess it is all about capacity. Bishop TD Jakes has a sermon on this and I completely resonated with his message. I suppose it’s about being mindful of other people’s situations and learning not to take everything so personal which I can definitely confess to being guilty of at times.
Why I choose not to overshare anymore
It’s OK to say no sometimes
If someone asks me to do something, go somewhere or generally be available, I am always one of the first to agree. Sometimes, it is OK to say no. With good reason obviously. I am not saying never be there for your friends or not to support them, but it’s not every single thing you should run to or be available for. Let’s take Whatsapp for instance. I used to be all in my feelings #NoDrake if people read a message I sent and didn’t reply almost instantly as I
do used to do! It was one of my pet peeves until actually I realised, It’s Not That Deep! I value my time; it’s a precious commodity so as long as it is not urgent (and you will know when it is with your friends/family) then I will respond in due course. Self care is important. Taking time out for yourself too is essential.
It’s no secret, it’s just not your business
I used to want to share every single detail of everyday instantly! The problem with this is, sometimes people actually don’t care about the small stuff, people have their own lives which in turn comes with its own passa! And quite frankly not everyone needs to know everything, especially when something hasn’t even happened yet. It’s not every idea or thought that must be public knowledge which brings me onto my next point…
Not everyone wishes you well
Sadly, not everyone wishes you well and wants to see you succeed. The more you share, the more people can pray on your downfall. So sometimes when you wanna shout some news from the rooftops, wait until it is signed sealed and delivered. Although whatever is for you will always be for you so you have that reassurance that if something doesn’t work out, God has plans for something better. There’s nothing wrong with being on social media platforms and still retaining a level of privacy.
*Passa – means drama to those who don’t know. Big up my fellow Caribbeans 😉
How much of your life do you share? Are you quite a private or public person?
Thank you for reading and hope to see you on my next post!